Four years ago - Esther's Adoption Day

Four years ago today we experienced something really incredible. We had been longing for a child for a long time, and we had been actively waiting to adopt for a long time, so when the day FINALLY came for us to meet her and hold her and become her parents and become a family, it was just really, really intense. I don’t know what the emotions are like at the labor ward when you see your newborn for the first time. I do know what the emotions are like when you first see and touch and hold the child you have been waiting and longing for, for such a long time. And those emotions are intense! It’s something amazing that I wish more people had the privilege of experiencing!

We watched the video with Esther of the day we met her. We watch it only once or twice a year or so, so that it will remain something really precious and special. (She has pictures and photo books that she can look at more often if she wants to). That Gotcha Day video gets me every time (of course, all Gotcha Day videos get me every time, but of course there is something special about our own). Esther is fascinated by the fact that I could cry “happy tears” because she doesn’t quite understand how that is possible!

What I noticed the most this time while watching it is how much I come alive between the moments of first meeting her, those first few seconds of looking at her and crying, and then of just like in relief realizing that this is it, finally after so much longing and waiting, finally after so much wondering and hoping and looking forward to something, finally seeing that she was the cutest human on planet earth, finally realizing a dream of ours, and I just totally relaxed and came alive in those first few minutes of just the three of us, where the video camera was capturing it on a table in the background (glad I thought to do that!), and the three of us just start bonding right away. I remembered as I was watching it this time that it was just such a relief to FINALLY be able to start that next new chapter in our family story – and with the cutest child ever! We had gone through such a rough two years prior to the referral phone call, such a trying time of frustration, and then to just have that finally really be over.

There is something about your first child. The child who makes you a mother. The child who makes you feel a kind of love you haven’t felt before. The child who was first to make your heart swell with a unique kind of emotion that is immensely powerful. And she can still do that to me. She still can make my heart swell with that intense emotion of genuine joy at having her in my life. Esther has a very powerful personality. There are pros and cons to this – believe me! She is very different from me, and I find it often challenging to know the best way to parent her so that she will shine and reach her full potential while still being aware of the most important things in life. I do the very best I can and I rest in the fact that continually turning my mothering role over to God means I can trust Him to do what I long for – raise Esther into a beautiful and confident young woman who loves God and loves people and uses her gifts and abilities for the benefit of others. Some days Esther is the number one most fascinating person on planet earth and I so thoroughly enjoy spending time with her that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. She is just such a cool person! Of course her age is a big part of that because 4 and 5 year-olds are just fascinating in general. But I couldn’t tell you how many days of all these 4 years we have had her that I would just look at her and be filled with gratitude that this particular person has become a part of my life and that I get to watch her life blossom and thrive.

Happy Adoption Day Esther! Four years with you in our family!